Sharing vegan food with family and friends is a fun way to introduce the people you love to a compassionate, healthy way of eating. But introducing new ideas and new foods into gatherings steeped in tradition can also be stressful.
People new to the vegan lifestyle may find it challenging to explain their new thoughts and feelings for their choices, while families and friends might feel pressured to adjust their annual dinners.
Those who eat animal products may become defensive about their choices, while vegans may feel alienated. And the same can be true in reverse, when people who eat animal products are guests at vegan holiday dinners.
But holiday mealtimes don't have to be uncomfortable - they can be an enjoyable and positive experience for everyone. Sharing food with family and friends can be a perfect opportunity to share our values and start new compassionate and healthy traditions.
Here are some ideas for handling common holiday questions:
For New and Aspiring Vegans:
What will I eat at a traditional animal-based holiday meal?
Many side dishes may already be vegan. Potatoes, cranberries, vegetables, breads, stuffing, salads, and so much more can easily be made vegan if they are not already. For a main dish consider stuffed squash, pot pie, or even a vegan "turkey" roast. And don't forget dessert. From egg-free pumpkin pie with dairy-free whipped cream, to hot chocolate with vegan marshmallows, or holiday cookies with a warm cup of vegan nog, there's a cornucopia of goodies to satisfy your sweet tooth.
How do I bring up my lifestyle with my family or friends and ensure there is food for me to eat?
If you're going to be a guest at the table, ask your hosts ahead of time what you can bring and how you can help. If you're handy in the kitchen or even if you simply buy prepared vegan food from a local store, bring your favorite dish or two (or more!) so you're sure to enjoy your meal and so that you have enough to introduce others to some of your favorites.
You may want to suggest to your hosts that you can bring a main dish to share or offer to help the cook(s) veganize the side dishes to make them cruelty-free, healthier, and delicious. Get more ideas for vegan holiday recipes here.
If your hosts feel frustrated by your requests, explain that you want to do whatever is least burdensome for the group while not compromising your deeply held beliefs. People will almost always understand and find a way to ensure that you have plenty to eat. They may even be excited to learn and try something new.
Be willing to roll up your sleeves and help. The stress your hosts may feel cooking new recipes or adding to their menu may be eased by your willingness to lend a hand.
Is it appropriate to bring up over dinner my reasons for my lifestyle?
Holiday dinners bring together family and friends. They can be the perfect time to do discuss your lifestyle with those who are close to you, but the conversation may also be better left for another time. Holidays are notoriously stressful; adding another stressor about food choices and ethics while competing with generations of tradition can be a recipe for frustration.
Often, the best thing to do is to wait for people to ask. It is almost guaranteed that someone will ask why you are not eating animal products. You know your friends and family best, so answer in the way that makes the most sense for that group at that moment. If the group is open to hearing what you have to say, great! But sometimes, it might be best to suggest talking one-on-one after dinner.
You may not remember or have time to say everything you want to say. It may also be helpful to have informative handouts with you, so you can direct curious friends and family toward our website.
We're not suggesting that you hold your tongue, but rather that you might want to pick the most effective opportunity. While you may feel like it goes against your ethics to refrain from answering questions immediately and in graphic detail, rest assured, your actions will speak even louder than words. Your message will be more powerful and better received by those who are open to hearing it. Live by example, plant seeds of compassion, and be ready to open your heart to those wanting to learn more.
If I am hosting a holiday dinner, must I serve turkey for meat-eaters?
No. You have no obligation to go against your ethics in order to carry on animal-based traditions. Straying from tradition can be intimidating for some people -- traditions are easy, traditions are comforting. But NEW traditions are ready to be made – traditions dedicated to health, justice, and compassion.
If potential guests complain ahead of time that they won't know if they will get their fill or what they are going to eat, share the mouthwatering menu with them. Chances are they'll be pleasantly surprised when they see the exciting wide array of delicious foods. Nothing speaks more clearly to the joy of eating vegan than delicious, bountiful food. The worries of your non-vegan family and friends will melt away when their mouths and tummies are full and satisfied.
For Family of New and Aspiring Vegans:
How should I deal with a vegan during the holidays?
The same way you would deal with anyone making ethical food choices or avoiding certain food products for health reasons: by understanding, by being open to learning, and by being helpful.
Choosing to not eat animal products is not a phase and it is not a choice meant to cause family strife. For most vegans, it is a serious and important ethical choice. Just as no one would expect someone whose religion requires them to avoid a certain food to eat it anyway, it is unfair and unkind to expect a vegetarian or vegan to make exceptions to their ethics around the holidays.
Since I accommodate vegans at my dinner, am I entitled to bring meat or other animal products to theirs?
No. Eating animal products and providing animal products for others to eat goes against the moral beliefs of ethical vegans, but abstaining from animal products for a meal or providing vegan options at a traditional animal-based meal probably does not go against one's moral beliefs.
Attending a vegan holiday celebration can be a life-affirming and positive experience for everyone, regardless of their daily dietary choices.
For help in transitioning to a compassionate plant-based diet, sign up for a Free Vegan Starter Guide and Meatout Mondays weekly e-mail recipes, product suggestions, and inspiration.
